I know it isn’t mothers’ day today.
I know we all have stories to tell about our mothers. I know your mothers are amazing too that you wouldn’t trade her for anyone in the world. But I just wanna write about how a woman so silent could impact my life so much. I was not amazed of her life because she is my mother but it was because she was iconic.
And she doesn’t know it.
My mother isn’t like the one you see on tv, the stylish, brown or long-haired, sexy, gym-goer, morning-jogger, mi-amigas-huddler, stong-voiced momma. I wish mom is like that. That would be more cool. But thank God she was different.
My mom is always at the background. If she’s not mad, you would rarely hear her comment about something. She could go on without going to the parlor. She cuts her own hair and gets a cheap manicure/pedicure. She rarely buys clothes for herself. She could wear the same clothes for ages. She is very simple. She has a simple heart. She knows how to settle for things around her and value little things. She’s so astig (tough) that she can do things without my dad because she can do the things that dad does. She can fix the fence (how’s that for a woman?..),work in the fields under the heat of the sun, name it, she can do it. If dad isn’t around, mom would surely do his work since we used to own a farm. She was his assistant. His partner. A helper, suitable for him indeed.
Mother is like a man. She works like a man. She acts like a man. But she speaks really gently. Funny things is most often, dad is more dramatic than she is. Whenever I would leave home to Davao for work or school, I would rarely hear a word from her. Dad would give me all the reminders in the world. Mom would just pack my things, smile. Sometimes, she wouldn’t even care to give me a hug. While Dad already stands there, saying his goodbyes with a broken voice. She was so tough, or, maybe she was just holding back.
I have only heard her share her life for a few times and they’re not even detailed. She would just share a glimpse of the past and keep quiet again. She was a beautiful, skinny, young maiden from a small town when dad first met her. (She didnt say that she was beautiful, skinny and young of course.haha. I can just tell.) Dad was there working for a logging company. She came from a home used to working at the heat of the sun. At an early age, she and her sibblings learned how to work hard to survive. No, it wasn’t just hard. It was really hard because according to her they each have to plant their own crops and sell them to the market if they want to have a new pen, notebook or clothes. That was how they earned and owned things at the same time. Her dad left them to heaven when she was very young that is why they all have to work hard. The same reason why I think she is very tough.
Dad on the other hand, was ten years her senior. He came from a family where eating isn’t about surviving. Education up until highschool was provided by his parents. (Back then, college was very expensive and students would rather work so he didn’t finish a degree.) His father was a soldier so his life was better. His mom was always around taking care of them. He had a good job. His sisters were studying in universities.
Their lives were different yet he fell inlove with the beautiful lass from the barrio.
He brought home a young woman who didn’t even finish highschool who was so different from his ex’s.( I don’t exactly know how many he had.) I even heard my father’s mother wasn’t in favor of her.
But he made the right choice.
Up until now, mom is still the same. She haven’t changed. Circumstances didn’t even change her. I still admire the way she handles things. Her being hard-working. Her being quiet all the time. She has proven so many things through her life. That being a good mother isn’t about what you can provide for your children, it’s about what you can give.
I can still remember how my friends would tell us how different we are from our mother. How loud I could get sometimes, they would just admire how demure she is. (They just didn’t know she also gets so scary like a dragon when she gets mad.) A friend even asked me, why I didn’t inherit what she is. haha. Well, too bad I copied too much from my father.hehe
She is just the image of the woman I want to become when I become a wife to the man I’m gonna marry in the future.
There will be more things to learn I guess. I can be quiet but I am not quiet all the time. I am not hard-working as she is because she can do a lot in a day. She can do things without making reklamo. She does things without the intention of gaining the approval of the people around her. She works hard at the back of so many things without telling people she did them. All throughout our young lives, we haven’t heard her say anything about her serving us and taking care of us. She just takes care of people really well, even the mother of her husband who first didn’t approve of her becoming his wife. I haven’t even heard her demand from us when it fact, she was there all the time giving us the unconditional love. I don’t even know about her dreams because she wants to fullfil ours first. When everyone in the family was discouraging me to take up Communication Arts, she didn’t say anything. She understood me because she knows who I am. She read the stories I wrote when I was young. She was a believer of my dream.
I am so not like my mom. Maybe I have some of her characteristics but I was a copy of my father. Mom knows how to keep a quiet heart. I’m still learning it. 🙂 Mom is so gentle. I am not. Really. Mom works hard, I do but not like her. I wanna do the things she does. I want her smplicity of heart. I want to understand situation and people the way she does. I want to love people unconditionally. I want to love more and talk less. I want my future children to have a mother like their grandmother.
And one thing more.. she eats gulay (vegetables) a lot. Wala syang reklamo sa pagkain. Dad loves meat. Mom would grow veggies in our backyard. No wonder, she’s a lot healthier than him.
And that too, I so need to work hard for.
Happy birthday mamang!