Face to face with me

It’s been a long time since I have made a blog. I certainly miss it since writing is one of my hobbies. But honestly, creating ideas and typing it after in a laptop is too difficult for me. My job involves a computer. Without it, I absolutely cannot work. But when it comes to writing, I’d still prefer a pen and a notebook.

Im so excited to just write or type, (whatever o_O) the things that I’ve been learning lately.


It is true that truth hurts. When what you are and who you are get exposed right before you and you realize you they aren’t just right. I remember a friend telling me, what if you were another person and you would meet yourself one day, would you like you? Would you approve the kind of person that you are? But this isn’t just about me liking myself or other people liking me, it’s about God telling me that I still can improve myself and that I still can change.

Most of the times, people would find me too strong.  Which I admit is true. I’ve taken lots of temperament tests which has almost the same results. They would always tell me that I am a choleric type of person. I am not against the temperaments. I salute whoever the bright mind that is behind these ideas. I don’t say that being choleric is not good. I believe that whatever temperaments we have, the choices we make, the words that we say, the actions that we show are still up to us. Don’t blame it on the temperaments. They don’t define who we are.


I am not shy to admit that I’ve been to focused with myself. I’ve always wondered and wanted how it is to be like a person who would think about the good of others and serve others. I think that all boils down to becoming a person of humility.

When I think about humility, I have one situation that comes to mind, it happens when someone tells you your beautiful or you look great and you don’t say anything and you just smile so that it does not show that you are overwhelmed with that appreciation. That is shallow I know.


Selfishness is when you focus to much about yourself. Selfishness is when you don’t listen to others and you would always love to air your own opinions as if the opinion of others don’t matter. It also happens when you do almost all of the talking and it is not a two-way communication anymore like your friends exist to listen to what you have to say. Selfishness also happens when you always want to be special in the eyes of others and you always want people to see your value and you would want them to always notice you. Selfishness is when you do not let something great that you’ve done go unnoticed.

And I can say that I’ve been so selfish for a long time in my life. I would often come strong at people. I would always regard myself as someone special. My thoughts are always important. I would make sure people would realize or get the idea of what I say. Even if I don’t say that I want the spotlight on me, I know it shows through my actions that I am a person that wants attention. If I don’t get what I want, I get irritated. I always want things done my way. Sometimes when I make decisions, the people around should also follow them without me even asking if they approve of my idea or not. Without knowing, that there was an even better idea, if only listened.

People like attention but when you are selfish the truth is that your identity is too much based on what others have to say about you. That is why when people don’t agree of what you say and what you do and don’t compliment you, you think they disapprove of you.

And lately, reading through the book of proverbs, I felt like I suddenly bumped into myself. You know the feeling when the author says something and you are like, “Oh boy, that’s me”. Those were the moments when I came face to face with myself. And I realized, if I am this kind of person, I think.. I wouldn’t like me.


The point is, it’s not always about you. It’s not always about what you say or what you do. You have to consider others and consider that others are better than you are. Wrong motives come when you try to promote yourself with the things that you do. Most of the times, it is better to listen to others even when you think you are right, even when you think you have a much brighter idea, even when you think they should listen to you. People are drawn to people who knows how to listen not to the people who always do the talking. A passage in 1corinthians says “Nobody should seeks his own good, but the good of others.” It is better to honor the idea of others even if it means not getting heard. God is going to give you the chance because your heart is right. When you exalt yourself it is pride, but when God exalts you it is honor.


You dont have to broadcast who you are. Value hiddenness. Yourself needs a little privacy. I know there are just times when you want to let people know something coz you are just happy or proud that you can’t hide it. And so there you are typing it in facebook or in your twitter account.  Because everybody knows about you, you become easy to figure out. It is better to just tell it straight to God than tell it to the people around. Some of them won’t understand.

“It’s not a humble heart because you work hard to be humble. It’s a humble heart coz you prefer others. Oftentimes attempts to be humble are too self-focused to ever get there. It’s just better to put others first and serve.- bill johnson”


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